The Scales of Hurting and Hoping
There is a song playing frequently now by Lifehouse called, "Broken". Each time I hear it I find myself turning it up and in tears. The words are something like this, " I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart that's still beating." It is more specifically about someone who looses a loved one in a car crash. But it resonates with how I have often felt in these past few months since my trip to Nairobi. My experiences have left my heart inside out and I am having to work hard at how to handle my tears, my distraction, the pain that little feels crushing on my chest. Selfishly, I have wondered: *when will the tears stop? *if only tears equalled fat cells I would have lost weight by now *Why me? Why am I feeling this so deeply? *Aren't I compassionate enough? I am a cancer nurse for heavens sake. *I really don't want this pain. Don't have time for it. But with the same angst I so desperately don't want to forget what I saw...