Ok, here I go... off to the blogging world.... Why does this feel scary to me? I am only in my mid 40's and afterall isn't 40's the new 30's? I truly am excited to start this adventure if only as therapy for myself. Somedays there is so much tension between my heart and my brain I find it hard to think straight. Can you relate?

Anyway, here I am if anyone would like to share in my journey and thoughts please do. I love company.

Yesterday and today I worked with a patient who reminded me so much of my friend Melissa that died last July from lung cancer. Today was especially difficult. This patient's physical pain has been great and she keeps rubbing and pointing to the same location that I remember Melissa complained about. I do not provide bedside nursing, but I round with the doctors on patients who are admitted to the oncology service and help manage their care through their hospital stay and on into home needs. While I was in the room I actually had my first flash back of Melissa. I had to swallow hard and was anxious to leave the room. I remembered clearly being with Melissa, her family and some of her closest friends the night she died in her home. I looked at her and felt so tired in my spirit of watching her laying towards her side with her hand on her back for comfort. I crawled up next to her in that big bed and started talking to her(she was not responsive) at the sametime I rubbed her arm and told her to relax offering her reassurances. After I few minutes she allowed me to move her arm and lay it by her side. At the sametime we noticed Melissa's face looked full and bright again, gone was that drawn grey look. Her close friend, Teddy took her other hand and told Melissa if she was seeing Jesus to go ahead and run to His arms. Melissa did and her suffering was over. It was what the medical profession would call a "good death". I have grieved the earthly loss of Melissa, but rejoiced in her heavenly healing and celebrated the Hope of Glory but in today I was reminded of the pain in the process and that Hope is certainly not so simple.


Comments

Janice said…
Thanks for sharing.
June 25, 2009 at 6:02 PM
bill & lura said…
A beautiful beginning. That you hurt when facing such pain of patients and friends just speaks of your caring little soul. God chose this field of nursing for you, I do believe; we pray that through this blog we can share in your triumphs and pain so we can encourage and lift you up. It's the best we can do when we can't hug you and make you a hot cup of tea.
Blessings dear daughter-in-law,
Lura
June 26, 2009 at 9:35 PM
Rhonda said…
Lura, Oh how I would love in this moment to sit with a hot cup of tea and you.(even tho it is nearly 100 outside) Thanks for all your love and prayers for the past 20 plus years. Make Bill a cup in my place! Hope to see you soon.
June 28, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Lolli (aka Lisa) said…
your blog will bless many lives, Rhonda. Keep being the transparent you that people love and you will bless and be blessed. have a glorious time in nairobi, and please give Brenda a huge hug for me. I know you are going to have an unbelievable time.

Love,

lisa
July 5, 2009 at 2:52 PM
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