Giving Up

Almost two years ago I had the opportunity to go visit my friend Brenda in Nairobi. What I experienced in Kenya was big movements of God. I heard stories from woman in desperate situations full of hope because of their faith. I also witnessed a woman my age with 5 kids, 2 of them critically ill and malnourished turn her heart over to Jesus. She was a "brew maker" with a bad reputation in the slum. Another woman my age dying in pain from untreated metastatic breast cancer relinquished what she called "a bitter heart" and "bent her knee" to accept Jesus.

Now, I am leading a team of people back to Kenya this June. I am amazed, excited that God is allowing me to go back. Even greater, taking others with me.

Life has been full lately with lots of distractions and worries, from sick children with possible autoimmune disorders and mono; to children traveling far distances for the first time alone; to children being away from home and under Tsunami warnings...yep Tsunami. Then there is the usual car issues, eye doctors, menopausal issues(yes, I said it), aging parent issues and then there is my job. That is a long story. So through all of this for the past 6 weeks I would rather take the easy road and go to the beach and forget Kenya.

Who said I was called to go anyway? Who am I to lead others? What might happen to their hearts, their relationship with God if I mess up in this process. What if we has a family do not raise the money needed, what if others do not receive? Worry, anxiety and confusion. None of it from God.

My devotion today led me to Daniel chapter 4

"(I)raised my eyes toward heaven and my reason returned to me, and I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever....He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, "What have you done?"

Turning my own eyes to heaven I am reminded God is sovereign. Nothing happens without his foreknowledge. He holds the path ahead. Like the ladies I met in Kenya, I am called to walk on. I needed to give up my heart (like the ladies in Kenya) in order to walk on.

Giving up for me today started with praising Him. I started praising Him when I heard the waters near Diamond Head had receded so much a barrier wreath that had never before been exposed was at that moment. That is how my heart felt exposed. Very vulnerable with the truth of my insecure, fearful, tired and prideful heart was revealed. I felt like a child and began singing, Praise him, Praise Him All Ye Little Children God is Good, God is Good.

Thankfully a severe tsunami did not hit the island of Oahu(where Lauryn and our good friends are) but thankfully a tsunami hit my heart.

Today, I am at peace and rest. How about you? Is there anything God has placed before you causing you fear? What must you give up to walk on? Could it be your heart? Go ahead, let HIM have it! You will find peace and contentment.

With all my heart,
Rhonda